Why He Can Have Multiple Partners & She’s a Virgin

My friend from NYC, Roman, was telling me about a girl from his past and abruptly stopped to ask me the question, “This isn’t going to go on your blog, is it?” I promised I wouldn’t, and I won’t.

BUT it did get me thinking about my life as a blogger. My family is concerned about my safety. My friends worry about my sanity. Acquaintances are intrigued but standoffish. And my lovers or potentials… well… they rather I keep it between the sheets.

On Monday I had, let’s call it a date, with a gentleman, Caesar, I had met at a party. At this party I had remained classy — up until the Jack Daniels poured through my liver like a over-saturated sponge. Then my mouth got the better of me and my true freak flag flew. Most of our conversation consisted of our past sexual deviant behavior.

This is a conversation I have often. And like most of these conversations I realize that I’m not the biggest freak out there, not even close, just the most outspoken. It’s my blog, my mouth, and the persona I project that makes people believe I’m dirty whore.

Roman (that’s NYC, try to follow along) has probably the largest collection of dirty pictures of anyone I know. He has been collecting for over a decade. I know this because I was one of if not the first girl to send him nude photos. That’s right mathletes, he has pictures of me when I was 15. And 16. And 17. Etc, etc. He’s into S & M, actively pursues clubs and venues that offer similar activities, and really loves anything that most people would consider fucked up.

Caesar is just as sexually fucked up. He’s notorious for being the party; bringing cocaine and being surrounded by beautiful woman. He loves to eat ass, fuck in public, and have multiple partners at the same time.

Now knowing this and hearing what each of these guys said to me this week blew my mind. Roman has a problem with girls that have slept with a lot of dudes. Yes, the guy that still has kiddie porn on this computer from 1999 has issues with promiscuous girls. Despite his own sexual conquest and pursues of sickly pleasure, he wants a good girl that’s down for dirty fun.

When speaking to Caesar about my blog and its relation to my own reality, I told him that while some entries are based on things that have happen, they are exaggerations of the truth or complete fabrications. His response? “Oh, that makes me feel better.” I wished I had lied and told him the personal stuff is too gross for the internet.

My oldest girlfriend is married and pregnant. My closest girlfriend has a kid and is engaged. Both of these girls has slept the same to three times the men I have. Their male counterparts love them, and rightfully so. They have breed with these ladies and have decided to spend the rest of their lives together. I won’t be as lucky.

It’s hard to date a girl who openly expresses her sexuality. It’s hard, I guess, since men are possessive and like to think that their girl is only theirs, always has, always will. But that’s simply not true nowadays. With books like 50 Shades on the summer’s best seller list and nude models on billboards stretching over Sunset Boulevard, female sexuality is at an all time tipping point.

We will be classy but give blow jobs. We will be virgins but know what to do. We walk that fine line between wife and hooker. Because only women could be given impossible tasks like these and do them well. Weaker sex my ass.

Maybe it’s just part of who I am. After all, I started masturbating at 4, became an exhibitionist at 15, and continued my journey into erotic fiction writing at 23. Maybe it’s because I have issues, like the attention, or maybe I’m just a really stupid girl. But I can’t help but feel proud of who I have become in reference to my sexuality. I don’t hide behind lies and secrets. I don’t pretend to not want something for the sake of my reputation. And I sure as hell live the same lifestyle as any male my age.

Sex for women is a double edge sword. We can’t do too much or too little of anything. We are held to a standard that is almost impossible to maintain for a lifetime. We are given Barbie with the perfect body that’s not physically attainable unless you’re plastic. We are told to be independent and pursue our dreams, but to make sure we are married and have kids before our biological clock rings. And American women have it the easiest.

“According to New York Times reporter Nicholas D. Kristof, acid attacks are at an all time high in Pakistan and increasing every year. The Pakistani attacks he describes are typically the work of husbands against their wives who have “dishonored them”.

According to a Rand Corporation commentary, hundreds of women in Pakistan and Afghanistan have been blinded or maimed “when acid was thrown on their unveiled faces by male fanatics who considered them improperly dressed.”

Acid attacks. Here I am worried about being called a dirty whore.

 “A slut is like the first piece of bread in a loaf, everyone touches it, but nobody wants it. “

-Mitchell Sakundiak

5 thoughts on “Why He Can Have Multiple Partners & She’s a Virgin

  1. “It’s hard to date a girl who openly expresses her sexuality. It’s hard, I guess, since men are possessive and like to think that their girl is only theirs, always has, always will. But that’s simply not true nowadays. With books like 50 Shades on the summer’s best seller list and nude models on billboards stretching over Sunset Boulevard, female sexuality is at an all time tipping point.”

    You know that book was about a female virgin sleeping with a bdsm lover? Surely that would indicate that female sexuality is far away from a tipping point.

    “We are told to be independent and pursue our dreams, but to make sure we are married and have kids before our biological clock rings.”

    Women who are believe that are fast vanishing. Most don’t have babies or only have one. Those who pursue the rather foolish advice to be independent of men and hold it off to the last possible moment are unlikely to be the future. At least the smart ones like you who use protection.

    Since in your life those who hide from the truth are having babies, what else would the future hold?

    • “You know that book was about a female virgin sleeping with a bdsm lover? Surely that would indicate that female sexuality is far away from a tipping point.”

      Yes, I know what the book was about. I write and read. The question is, have you? That book is suppose to be for women but instead it has the perfect male fantasy. A virgin who is beautiful and doesn’t know it. Smart, reserved, willing to please, unable to even say the word vagina yet puts a dick in her mouth. Never ask for the him to go down on her since it never crosses her mind. She is totally in love with him and refuses others’ advances. In fact, never wanted anyone before Mr. Grey. Need I go on?

      Let’s not even get into the fact that its a complete rip off of Secretary.

      “Women who are believe that are fast vanishing.”

      What?

      “Most don’t have babies or only have one. Those who pursue the rather foolish advice to be independent of men and hold it off to the last possible moment are unlikely to be the future. At least the smart ones like you who use protection. Since in your life those who hide from the truth are having babies, what else would the future hold?”

      Did you seriously say “foolish advice?” So you’re saying that women that don’t have kids are foolish? Because they choose not to marry and have a career and a life independent of someone else? And I suppose you also deem them worthless if they won’t or can’t procreiate?
      How are ‘they’ unlikely to be in the future? Do you think this is a genetic trait passed on? Like they will weed themselves out? I bet you think ‘gay’ is genetic. Luckily for you, two guys can’t have a baby….
      Yes, I am smart because I use protection. I’m not one of those ’16 and pregnant’ sort of girls. Or ‘we have to get married’ type of girl. It’s called being responsible. I don’t trust in an omniscience other to dictate my cervix. It’s science. You have sex and will have a chance of catching something, including fertility.

      I don’t know what the future holds. I guess secret holding babies. Or zombies… who knows. Apparently sexism and ignorance have remained in society’s graces for this long.

      • Ahh, I assumed you were saying 50 shades of grey was something new, not basically the same female fantasy as always- a woman gets a sexy young rich charitable man who fawns over her and gives her everything in return for sex and submission and possession. A repeat of older romance books, as you said. Always say yes and you’ll get everything.

        “Did you seriously say “foolish advice?” So you’re saying that women that don’t have kids are foolish?”

        Those who avoid dependence on men are. Dependence is necessary in life and humans are completely relient on each other for happiness. Some small fraction of women are extremely fond of work and it’s understandable that they avoid kids. They can afford to avoid dependence. The majority of women want a mix of work and family and if they avoid dependence on men are left with a rather crap life.

        “And I suppose you also deem them worthless if they won’t or can’t procreiate?”

        They generally have value, they just get extremely stressed around 30+ when their biological clock runs out and men are less interested in giving them attention. It’s foolish because they are doing something that leads to decades of potential unhappiness so they can jump onto lots of men in their twenties.

        “How are ‘they’ unlikely to be in the future? Do you think this is a genetic trait passed on? Like they will weed themselves out? I bet you think ‘gay’ is genetic. Luckily for you, two guys can’t have a baby…”

        Genetics, family values. And they are weeding themselves out pretty effectively.

        I suspect gayness is partly genetic. There’s some evidence of gay genes. Through most of human history gay men had children by being pushed to it, often more effectively than straight men. They understood the female psyche. I’d imagine there will be less gay people around in a couple decades. The remainder will be happier, but less numerous.

        “Yes, I am smart because I use protection. I’m not one of those ’16 and pregnant’ sort of girls. Or ‘we have to get married’ type of girl. It’s called being responsible. I don’t trust in an omniscience other to dictate my cervix. It’s science. You have sex and will have a chance of catching something, including fertility. ”

        I’d imagine intellect, as you have in spades, will be as uncommon as responsibility.

        “I don’t know what the future holds. I guess secret holding babies. Or zombies… who knows. Apparently sexism and ignorance have remained in society’s graces for this long.”

        If sexism and ignorance are more productive than responsibility and intellect, that is the future.

      • Wow…

        “Ahh, I assumed you were saying 50 shades of grey was something new, not basically the same female fantasy as always- a woman gets a sexy young rich charitable man who fawns over her and gives her everything in return for sex and submission and possession. A repeat of older romance books, as you said. Always say yes and you’ll get everything.”

        Female fantasy is to get everything she wants in return for sex, submission and possession? You clearly do not know what women want. And STILL haven’t read it. Ana hates all of the gifts he tries to give her. She refuses expensive presents and grand gestures. Again, male fantasy. The whole thing is for men. You basically said, “Do what men like and we will take care of you.” It’s 2012, time to let us take care of ourselves.

        “Those who avoid dependence on men are. Dependence is necessary in life and humans are completely relient on each other for happiness. Some small fraction of women are extremely fond of work and it’s understandable that they avoid kids. They can afford to avoid dependence. The majority of women want a mix of work and family and if they avoid dependence on men are left with a rather crap life.”

        I’ll agree that dependence on someone is typically necessary. This can be in the form of family, friends, lovers, and, yes, gay partners. I also never said independence from men, just independence. All people, despite gender, should be able to take care of themselves. If you’re an adult and have to rely on someone else for survival, there is a bigger problem at hand. If a women wants work and family, then chances are she wants to be with a significant other. Doesn’t have to be a man, could be a women FYI.

        “They generally have value, they just get extremely stressed around 30+ when their biological clock runs out and men are less interested in giving them attention. It’s foolish because they are doing something that leads to decades of potential unhappiness so they can jump onto lots of men in their twenties.”

        “They generally have value…” What time of pompous ass are you? German descent, aye? Maybe live in the Middle East? Ever thrown acid on someone because she refused your marriage proposal? Listen, people are going to be unhappy. It happens. Someone could get married and have kids, only to find out that she is with an abusive husband who cheats, lies, and beats the crap out of her when dinner isn’t on the table. I don’t equate children and marriage with happiness. Yes, some people find happiness in that lifestyle, but others find misery. It’s not a sure thing. Bet on black, you’ll have the same chances.

        “Genetics, family values. And they are weeding themselves out pretty effectively. I suspect gayness is partly genetic. There’s some evidence of gay genes. Through most of human history gay men had children by being pushed to it, often more effectively than straight men. They understood the female psyche. I’d imagine there will be less gay people around in a couple decades. The remainder will be happier, but less numerous.”

        You’re ignorant, stupid, and have been drinking to much of the proverbial kool-aid.

        “I’d imagine intellect, as you have in spades, will be as uncommon as responsibility.”

        Thanks for the compliment but if you are going to feign this intellectual persona via internet but fail to back up ANY of your thoughts with facts, evidence, or even just a logical and believable concept, then I wouldn’t go accusing people of negative behaviors.

        “If sexism and ignorance are more productive than responsibility and intellect, that is the future.”

        God, I hope that’s not true since sexism and ignorance aren’t productive. Counterproductive towards a responsible and intellectual society, yes.

        Frankly, you are well-spoken idiot with ideals from somewhere before the ’40s. I’m guessing your older, perhaps 40s but most likely 50s, Christian, and still have the same slacks as you did 15 years ago. I don’t know why you found my blog, decided to read it, and make this into a forum. I appreciate the opportunity to argue my points further, but I doubt that either of us will have a life-changing impact on one another. Call me naive, but no one has ever had an epiphany after an internet debate. But who knows, maybe you’ll broaden your horizon and look past the tip of your own nose to see an ever-changing society where the new generation will put the old generation in a home. Don’t worry. We’ll give you pills to make you think it’s still 1954.

        Cheers.

  2. First, since you read something of mine wrong.

    “So I’m stupid and therefore irresponsible….?”

    No, you’re intelligent and responsible, and not pumping out babies. I was saying you were extremely intelligent. Your writing clearly shows your high intellect and creativity. It is a source of slight sadness for me that pop culture for the smart and creative is to not have babies or only have one or so very late. I don’t particularly like the direction the world is going, away from tolerance and fairness.

    “Female fantasy is to get everything she wants in return for sex, submission and possession? You clearly do not know what women want. And STILL haven’t read it. Ana hates all of the gifts he tries to give her. She refuses expensive presents and grand gestures. Again, male fantasy. The whole thing is for men. You basically said, “Do what men like and we will take care of you.” It’s 2012, time to let us take care of ourselves. ”

    Hm. From what I read in the book, she initially hated the gifts because he felt she was paying her for sex (as he was) but later grew more accepting once he married her, and enjoyed many of his gifts. She enjoyed the gifts of his money, after some convincing to show her independence.

    There’s something else. He was the male version of a virgin. Men mostly want sex (broad stereotype, but this is a romance novel so they love stereotypes), so they often want a woman who has never had sex with someone but is sexual. Women mostly want emotional fulfilment, so they want a man who has never fallen in love but has lots of sexual experience. She is special to make him fall in love, something which is repeatedly mentioned.

    Some women like being taken care of, some don’t. I see no issue with either viewpoint. Why is it bad for a woman to need someone else for survival, male or female?

    “God, I hope that’s not true since sexism and ignorance aren’t productive. Counterproductive towards a responsible and intellectual society, yes.”

    I agree. They are often productive in terms of babies though.

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